Are you in a relationship that is dangerous? Does anything your spouse or significant other do make you feel uncomfortable, or worse, hurt you? Here are the most common actions of an abuser. If any of these things have been done to you get out of the relationship. Once a person abuses you once they will do it again and again.
Abusers like to call names. They will tell you that you are stupid, retarded, and will swear at you. An abuser does this to make you feel terrible and not good about your self. When the abuser gets you to crumble with their words it empowers them. It makes them feel good about themselves when they point out your every flaw. If your man, or woman, calls you names or talks to you in a disrespectful way it is a sign that they are abusive. Get away before the verbal abuse becomes physical.
An abuser is generally the larger person in the relationship. The abuser will use their size to intimidate you. They may get very close, towering over you. Making you cringe or step back. An abuser does this to feel strong. The like your weakness and will use it against you to get what they want.
Abusers can be nice people, until something does bot go their way or they do not get what they want. Many abusers have mental or emotional disorders such as bi-polar disorder, or depression. Abusers abuse because they are not getting their way or because they cannot deal with something that is causing them stress. An abuser cannot handle problems like other people can. They become angry instead of staying calm and rational. Instead of looking for a positive and constructive solution to problems they snap and become destructive.
When a person snaps they become violent. Sometimes, for some abusers it only takes a look, or just a couple of words spoken by you to provoke an attack. The reasons for the attack generally are not things people would become upset about, but for an abuser, a simple thing will enrage them.
Fights most often start with words. First the abuser will put you down with his or her words, then they may act out on you in a physical way. If you are to try to retaliate or stick up for yourself the abuser will either become amused or more violent. When an abuser is in abuse mode he or she will not care if they are hurting you. What they WANT is to see you hurt. Should you try to stick up for yourself? It is a questionable question. I think the best answer is that you should try to keep your distance. Get away from the hostile person. Go outside, to another room, to a friends house, or where ever. Just remove yourself from the situation before you get hurt.
If the person you are with begins to hit, slap, push, grab, or kick you there is a serious problem. What you need to do is get away from this person. End the relationship.
When there are children involved most couples remain together despite the abuse. They do it for the children but is it really best to stay together for the children? No. It’s not. Do not allow your children to grow up in an abusive environment. Little girls will grow up thinking it’s alright and normal, and little boys will too.